31 July 2011

Came across this on an "ideas for journal" website :p

HOW TENACIOUS YOU ARE WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL? WHAT FACTORS INFLUENCE HOW PERSISTENT YOU ARE?

I like to classify my goals as ones which I have to achieve and there are external things associated with them, like study for a test; and ones which I feel that I have to achieve for myself, like trying to read a grammar book full before college!

I feel in the first case I usually am very tenacious, like I would stay awake till late at night studying and just study study study when I believe it’s something that when I achieve everyone will see right there. I put a lot of my heart and soul into it, people could call this shallow but I think it’s mainly because once I reach there everyone will be able to see it! So I think it is this desire to be seen as a winner, an achiever that drives me to put a lot of myself in this. But then like in 10^th class when I had to make a project on the different landforms in geography, I worked for a full half month on that I think! Making borders on each coloured page and making pencil lines on those blank pages and writing so much and then erasing those pencil lines and what not! My project came out to be brilliant and I really felt good about it! Yeah there were better projects in my class but I personally loved it! So I think it’s also if I like what I am doing or not that guides me towards my first kind of goal. I can say this really confidently because in my class 11^th when I took science I completely hated it and I think as a result I did not put my heart in it while studying! I failed miserably there and I spent many a depressing night thinking that I was a failure but the truth is that I was not a failure! I can say that now that I’ve finished school with the best marks that I’ve ever got in my whole school time! I got two 95s! WOW! I’ve never got a 95 before that! And yes I think this has more to do with the fact that I made my own choice when I decided to take up humanities. So, as I write this I feel I can also say that what guides me to a goal the first kind as we are talking about here is that if I have decide to do that or has someone else decided it for me. Yes this could classify me as stubborn and yes this also puts me at a risk of doing some stupid things but then I can say that hey this mistake is mine and I don’t have anyone else to blame for it. So yeah to sum up the first kind of goal the three reasons why I move towards it is because it will be seen, I like it and whether it’s my own choice of path or not.

Now, the second kind of goal is a little bit more complicated to talk about. These are the things that I set for myself to achieve like finishing a book or exercising and eating just healthy food in order to lose belly fat et cetera. And I feel that these are the goals where I find myself drifting. A lot. Like I bought this grammar book from the bookshop a few weeks ago thinking that hey now is the time to brush up my grammar since school’s over and there is a bit of time before college i should use this extra time! But till date I've hardly done 30 pages of that book! It disgusts me that I can always come up with an excuse to not do something which I know will be really good for me, like telling myself that hey this is the vacation time and I am never going to get any more of this anytime soon so I should enjoy this! I don’t even want to talk about the very expensive French course that I bought and did regularly for 3 days and just stopped! I think I still need to strengthen myself forcing skills in these yet. I think it is because these are the goals that I set for myself in a bit of free time and the main task before I can do these is getting up!